Monday, September 23, 2013

What Not to Wear to Court

Here is your guide on what not to wear to court. Sure, I could tell you what you should wear, but I think what is important here is what you should not wear!

I had to go to court the other day regarding child support with my son's father. (How fun was that? Gag.) I was shocked to see several girls walking around in what appeared to be plastic hospital gowns clenched at the waist.  It took me a while to figure out these girls had their ta-tas hanging out or were wearing see through clothing and were FORCED to wear court issued cover-ups. Yikes.

Most courts (if not all!) do have dress codes. You can google the court's location and I'm sure it's posted on their website. Dress codes are not optional, sweets. Unless you want to sport a nice plastic hospital gown, then cover up. (Worse - you may be asked to leave if you show up dressed inappropriately!)

Now, for my list of to what absolutely not to wear to court:

1. Nothing see through! No. No. No. Just don't. Don't show your bra. Don't show your skimpy tank top. Don't show your.... anything. No one wants to see that - especially not the judge.

2. Low cut tops are not welcome. They won't make it past the front door. Cover up that cleavage.

3. No cut out shirts, shorts, pants, etc. Everything should be hole-less. The less skin you show, the better.

4. Mini skirts and booty shorts are off limits. Don't show your back side unless you want to be thrown outside.

5. No shorts at all, actually. Most dress codes prohibit shorts, although it's probably not as strictly enforced.

6. No slogans on the back of your pants. The judge may not find that as "juicy" as you do.

7. Flips flops are not your best shoe choice. Think again.

8. House shoes and slippers are meant to be worn at home, not at court! Bad choice.

9. No sun dresses. Nothing strapless. Nothing sleeveless. No halter tops. No spaghetti straps. Play it safe and no tank tops either.

10. Bare midriffs aren't allowed. No bare skin between tops and bottoms.

11. No inappropriate t-shirts. Stay clear of offensive shirts.

12. Bare backs are prohibited.
13. No spandex or Lycra.

Use your best judgement! Or if your judgement sucks, ask a friend! hah.

Think business casual. If in doubt, ladies, wear a nice black pair of pants and a nice top with black flats. Problem averted.

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